1. Projectile Poop Happens
It may shock new parents to experience the force that can propel some of our little loved ones’ bowel movements to new heights. In the heat of the moment poop on one’s hand, face, or hair can be upsetting, but after the fact, projectile poop stories are big hits!
2. Prepare for Big Messes
Kids are messy—and newborns are no exception. Always carry backup outfits for baby, backups for the backups and remember extra garb for yourself. Wipes in your car, purse, and pockets are always a good idea.
3. Baby Wipes Are Your Friend
Baby wipes clean poop, pee, dirty faces, dirty hands, even dirty hair occasionally (until you can get home to the bath, that is). They are fantastic, so carry them, always, everywhere…and never run out!
4. You Can NEVER Pack Enough Diapers
Planning a quick trip to the local market? Your baby doesn’t care. Their GI system is in full swing, and while you might think one diaper or two will suffice, chances are your risky decision will come back to haunt you!
5. When Baby Sleeps, So Should You
Parenting is blissful, but those earliest sleepless weeks are insane. Cut yourself some slack, drop everything (including yourself), and get some rest when your baby does.
6. The Crazy Things You’ll Say
Kids are nonstop action. Attentive parents often hear themselves making strange statements: “Stop licking your brother,” “Get that out of your pants,” “Don’t put your booger on that woman!” Just roll with it.
7. Help is a Good Thing
Some of us pride ourselves on being independent. We can do anything on our own and shudder to think of asking for help…until we have a kid. Having a new baby means you’ll need help, in any form you can get it! Accept help to take a 90-second shower, and when someone offers to bring over dinner, accept with gratitude—you will need to eat. Food prepared by someone else and shoved in your face is the best!
8. It’s Okay to Screw Up
Every parent screws up—it’s a fact of life. If you have ever heard the saying, “There is no such thing as a perfect parent,” you’ll now learn how true it is. Every parent messes up…most of us more than once. It is okay, kids are resilient.
9. Chaos Reigns
If you were a neat freak before kids…sorry! Having children is like having a tornado roll through your home every day (several times a day, usually). Buy all the bins and organizers you can as an attempt to push off the mess but alas, it’s a lost cause.
10. Stay Strong
As parents we often plague ourselves with guilt for having moments when we want to crack. Don’t worry, every parent experiences these feelings and anyone who says otherwise is lying. Enjoy when you can and soldier through the tough times. One day when that screaming, puking, whining, needy baby is grown, you’ll look back on ALL these early years with fondness!