The pinnacle of your surrogacy journey will be the delivery. Everything you have done since the day you committed to become a gestational carrier culminates once the baby is born. Many surrogates describe the amazing feeling of seeing their IPs hold their child for the first time. However, after the child is born your contribution to this amazing adventure is complete. Transitioning back from being a gestational surrogate can be emotional. It is important for the surrogate to acknowledge her feelings and try to arrange for available support after the baby is born.
Talk to Your IPs About After the Delivery
There is nothing wrong with a surrogate requesting a plan for once the baby is born. Being a uniquely dynamic experience, gestational surrogacy can allow for agreed upon terms that will support all parties. While one surrogate may request occasional emails or facetime updates as the child develops, another may ask to hold the child or feed him/her during the hospital stay. If you are unsure of what may be appropriate or not, check with your surrogacy agency for some recommendations. The agency may be able to share examples of what other surrogates have requested after the delivery.
Prep Your Support Team Long Before the Birth
Part of the process to becoming a surrogate is confirming your spouse, children and other family members or friends support your decision. Their contributions will be necessary throughout the pregnancy and once the child is born, their support will be absolutely critical. Whether you may need a shoulder to cry on, someone to help with meal prep and running errands, or just one of your loved ones who knows how to make you smile, your personal supports will play a key role in helping you after the surrogacy.
Some surrogacy agencies, including WSS, have an experienced surrogate on staff. Working with a woman who can identify exactly what you are feeling may offer the support and advice to best help you through this time. If the surrogacy agency you choose does not have an experienced surrogate on staff, you may want to connect with an online support group or forum to meet other surrogate mothers.
It takes one very strong and amazing woman to be a gestational carrier. She has the courage to offer her unfaltering physical and emotional commitment, all to help someone else. The surrogate gives her all so that someone else may experience the joy she already knows of being a parent. Some surrogates may complete their journey with ease while others may experience a bit of the baby blues. However, completing your surrogacy adventure is okay, what will matter most in the end are the memories you’ve made throughout the experience.
Ursula K. LeGuin wrote, “It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters in the end.” You will always cherish the memories you have made throughout your surrogacy, with your IPs, and your own family.