Here we are in the season of giving. We are thinking about what gifts we can give our loved ones, and what contributions we can make to charities and to the needy in order to make our world a better place. Let's talk about the gift of family. As a surrogacy lawyer, it never ceases to amaze me - the incredible gift that surrogate mothers give to the parents for whom they become pregnant - the gift of family!
If you are thinking of becoming a gestational surrogate mother, the act of giving is the pinnacle of the surrogacy experience. All of the women I have known have gone into surrogacy to experience the joy that the intended parents have when they have their baby. Surrogate mothers know that they are responsible for making this happen. They dedicate and commit themselves to a process of becoming pregnant to help someone else have a child, to create a family, to give life, joy, family, love.
Intended parents ask me all the time: Why do women become surrogate mothers? My answer across the board is that yes, they want to make some extra money, but more than that, surrogate mothers want to help someone or a couple to create a family. Women who become surrogate mothers like being pregnant, they are good at being pregnant, they love their children and they value family. These are all of the characteristics and traits that go into surrogate parenting. It is a beautiful gift and a wondrous experience to join in the endeavor with the intended parents to bring their baby into the world.
If you are considering becoming a gestational surrogate, there are many protections for you. You are entitled to choose your own medical treatment and physicians. Of course, ideally, you and the intended parents agree on these medical providers. Another protection is that you have your own lawyer and you are free to ask for surrogacy compensation that you think is fair. You are not expected to accept compensation that someone else dictates. If your request is in the realm of what is customary in gestational surrogacy agreements, then you are entitled to your desired compensation. Also, while intended parents have a right to choose the surrogate they want to carry their baby, surrogate mothers also have a right to choose the parents for whom they will carry. The relationship between the parents and the surrogate mother is always a warm and caring relationship, a mutual endeavor to bring a very very wanted child into the world.